I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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