I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize