I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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