So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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