yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
