so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
