I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
