Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!