Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
