Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
