I hate all girls vehemently.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize