I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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