i'm signing you up for texting rehab
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize