And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
