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• (813): View more from Florida

  i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa

  (404): View more from Georgia

  sure if you go to prison

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (626): View more from California

  My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable

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