Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life

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(443): View more from Maryland

Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.

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(714): View more from California

I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

im here for your entertainment

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(906): View more from Michigan

it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations

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