Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy. http://tfl.nu/mwni
  Replies (11) Good night (1414) Bad night (3467)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight http://tfl.nu/exu9
  Replies (73) Good night (1253) Bad night (2865)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"? http://tfl.nu/jsyi
  Replies (12) Good night (2533) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo. http://tfl.nu/y8zo
  Replies (21) Good night (738) Bad night (3833)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole. http://tfl.nu/c6gz
  Replies (18) Good night (1008) Bad night (4714)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway http://tfl.nu/b3sf
  Replies (23) Good night (2395) Bad night (7123)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to? http://tfl.nu/2zz0
  Replies (32) Good night (1290) Bad night (3214)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie http://tfl.nu/7ez3
  Replies (14) Good night (1965) Bad night (3937)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed. http://tfl.nu/q245
  Replies (14) Good night (1850) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am. http://tfl.nu/wn9t
  Replies (4) Good night (2211) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo? http://tfl.nu/2zc2
  Replies (5) Good night (2626) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept. http://tfl.nu/3n2j
  Replies (15) Good night (3056) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom http://tfl.nu/gild
  Replies (11) Good night (634) Bad night (2131)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!" http://tfl.nu/8fdl
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor. http://tfl.nu/dyyo
  Replies (2) Good night (835) Bad night (365)

Randomize