Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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