I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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