Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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