Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
