Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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