I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
