I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
