so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize