Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
