he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
