the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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