Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
