and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
