Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize