:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
