i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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