go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
