there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
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