I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I will die if light touches me.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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