I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
