Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
