Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
