Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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