I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
