How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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