I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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