I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize