they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
