dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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