i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
