i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
