so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
