its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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