My hand turned me down
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
