Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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