Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize