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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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