Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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