Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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