i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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