i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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