I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
