Please, let me fuck your mom
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
