my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
zippers are such a cool invention
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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