If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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