i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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