Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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