we have officially lost it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
