I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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