Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
