I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
