I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
